Overcoming Approval Addiction

Needing approval or external validation is one of the greatest sources of fatigue and energetic drain in health care workers, academics, researchers and private practitioners.

It's because APPROVAL is one of our basic needs, like love, security, sleep, acceptance and list of others.

Needing approval manifests as our inner critic and our external critics telling us that we're wrong, misguided, incompetent and never going to be good enough. And we believe it.

We can get so invested in doing and saying things that don't rock the boat and maintain status quo. We can follow rules and formulas of perceived success that go against our creative ideas and expression because we fear failure and disapproval from others.

Here's the thing -no amount of external validation, props, love and attention will ever quench that need for approval.

It's an inside job. WE are the only ones who can fulfill this need and doing so regularly when the critics get loud can save us from the exhaustion that accompanies this unfulfilled need.

You can do this by allowing your Inner Mentor to speak to the part of you that doesn't feel validated, heard or good enough. Validate yourself and remind yourself that your ideas are great, you're doing a great job, even if no one else thinks so. If you're scoffing at this idea, consider this an invitation to try something new for a few days and notice the effect.

If you feel you have to earn approval in order to receive it, you'll tire yourself out waiting for that evidence to appear. The more you approve of yourself because you're already enough, the less you care about what others think or expect of you. This is so freeing and attracts more approval and positivity in your life. When you trust that you're already doing your best and believe your best is good enough, you become a magnet for experiences that reinforce this belief, along with the energy you need to keep going.

It's your choice.

My best is good enough,

Nathalie